Well, yesterday I took the plugs out and checked the compression. I unplugged the coil power, and removed the fuel pump fuse so as not to waste gas and flood it. It was 170-180 or so all 4, that was good. Today I was going to work on it - wanted to see if there were any shorts or sparking in the engine. I replaced everything, turned off the lights in the garage and... it started! !!1! Not sure why, but I've been cleaning up engine grounds and doing stuff, totally unclear why though.
The vacuum leak is worse but now I've tracked it down to needing a new throttle body gasket.
Wow. Just, wow.
So I think it's back! For now anyway, as I'm not sure why it ran, I'm not sure it will stay running.